Guide For Parents: 5 Main Reasons Why Your Kid Is Naughty And How To Deal With Their Misbehavior

Kids bring us joy. Oh, well, not always. Sometimes there are frustrations too, especially when the kids refuse to cooperate with us. They would cry non-stop, shout at the top of their voice, mess up everything around them... Most parents tend to resort to disciplining, threatening, 'cheating', or diverting the kids' attention stop their defiance. But all these could only solve the issue temporarily.

What should a rational parent do? Perhaps the first step is to understand why the kid misbehaves. There are five main reasons:

"What Will Happen If I Do This?"

Kids are curious in nature. They learn by trying things out - without regards of whether they 'should' or 'should not' try it, or whether they will be harmed. "Can I eat this piece of paper?", "What happens if I pour this bottle of lotion here?", "Fire looks interesting"..... All these are all so familiar.

Every time when your kid does something 'unusual', be ready to give them some feedback. Be patient in guiding her, because this is a learning opportunity for her. It's through observing your response that she better understand the world. Do not disallow her to explore, as long as it does not harm her.

"Give Me Your Attention, Mummy. Attention!"

Parents are kids' center of universe - at least at their very young age. The kids will demand their parents to focus on them. They might be sending a message to the parents through misbehaving - that the parents are not paying enough attention to them.

Giving attention to your kid is one of the best ways to show that you care about him. If your kid misbehaves because he's trying to get your attention, give it to him! However, remember to try to strike a balance: if you deprive him of attention too often, his emotion will accumulate, and this ends up to be a greater rebellious action; but if you attend to him too eagerly, he might repeat the trick and make you busy every time.

"I Am Upset!!!"

Crying and throwing tantrums can be the kids' way of expressing their discomfort. They might be hungry, unhappy about something, tired, stressed or feeling physically unwell. The kids have not learned enough to clearly show the adults what's upsetting them, so they can only cry or shout to get the adults' attention.
If your kid is not cooperating because something's upsetting her, do not divert her attention away. Try to calm her down (e.g. by giving her a hug or stroking her back), find out what's causing her discomfort, and help her to deal with it. If possible, take this chance to teach her to deal with the discomfort.

"If I Do This, What Will Daddy Do?"

Kids will always test their parents' limit. They are usually living within the boundaries the parents set for them, but at times, they will try to push and see how far the boundaries are. They would do something 'naughty', check how the parents respond, and diplomatically react to the response.

As a parent, you must be clear of what are acceptable for you. Clearly let your kid see the limits you set. Be stern when you need to, and do not compromise, especially on issues that will harm your kid or affect him permanently.

"This Is What I Learned From ___!"

Children see, children do. The kids' misbehaviors might reflect the good and bad habits they picked up from people around them. Their parents are of course their closest role models, but might not be their only role models. How their grandparents, neighbors, nursery teachers, little friends and others act and speak can affect them too.

It takes time to correct a kid when he has picked up defiant conduct from others. First and foremost, be sure that you become his role model by showing him the right behavior. Gently remind him that you're not happy with the behavior he shows. Over time and with repeated reminder, you can eventually help him rid it.

About This Article:

There was once when my wife and I brought our son to a supermarket, my son insisted us to get him a huge bag of colorful candies. We refused, because it just looked too unhealthy. Our son started throwing tantrums, cried and shouted like nobody's business. We couldn't calm him down no matter what we did. How embarrassed we are, you can imagine...

This incident ended up with us pulling him out of the supermarket, and we went straight back home -- without buying a thing. The kid was upset, and so were us.

If only we took a step back to think about why he's doing it, we would be able to handle the situation better. But this is what parenting is -- a never-ending learning process. Most fellow parents are facing much confusion and frustration daily. We too, but we're lucky that we are pretty guided.

Being a Parent - The Top Tips to Get You Through It

Sometimes being a parent can be difficult especially if you did not have good role models when you were growing up. You love your children, however they can really test your patience levels from time to time. There are mistakes that we all routinely make as parents that can be avoided.

Here are some tips to remember:

o Let your kids be who they are. This means that you should never try to change a kid into something they are not. If they love singing, nurture that talent. If they like to build with blocks, teach them about being an architect. You do not have to sit back and let them run the household, but do give them room to be themselves. Try to support rather than change.

o Kids need discipline: One of the biggest parental mistakes these days is trying to be your child's friend. Remember that you are a parent and that carries a lot of responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is teaching your child how to become a contributing member of society one day. You should certainly be someone they can respect and go to when they need something. However, only being a friend in the hopes they will never get angry with you is a big mistake. Kids need boundaries and authority figures.

o Consistency is key: You need to make sure that you are consistent in your punishments. Kids should be able to predict the consequences of an action with 100% accuracy. Never make threats you do not intend to follow through on (except for any physical threats, of course). If you say "Clean your room or no dessert" then you had better follow through on it or your child will not take your authority seriously.

Be a Better Parent

Being a parent is arguably the toughest job in the world. Parents can only give as good as they are aware of and have experienced or learned for themselves. So, how good they become really starts with self-knowledge of their own motivations, preferences, beliefs and values.

Having kids is the easy part, but once you take that step, you are taking on the most important role you will ever hold in your lifetime. The bliss and the curse of parenting is that you take who you think you are plus the opportunities and challenges that life gives you and multiply these by the factor of children. It can be scary and exhilarating at the same time.

Who Are You?

Here's a short list of questions to ask yourself. Honest answers to these questions will reveal how you are showing up as a parent:

• How conscious am I of my own strengths and weaknesses?
• How do I respond to the ups and downs of life?
• How calm and patient am I in a crisis?
• How good of a listener am I?
• What is my normal leadership style? Am I a boss or an inspiration to others?
• How flexible am I to changing and adjusting my style or approach as the situation warrants?

Your Parenting Roles

Whether you like it or not, your children will discover all these things about you. They will learn how you navigate through life and will eventually pick up on, choose what resonates with them, and reject what doesn't. They are your instant mirrors. And they're very good at it.

And as a parent you are their protector, role model, guidance counselor, entertainer, teacher, and the list goes on indefinitely. The point is, when you have kids, you become their universe when they are little, and hopefully their friend when they grow up.

Being a parent means you are taking on a responsibility, both moral and financial. It means you are officially an adult. Pretty frightening stuff, but also very rewarding.

How does this all happen? We all heard this a million times - "Kids do not come with instruction manuals." This is true, but in essence, the instruction manual is inside us all. So what can we do to guide our kids into adulthood?

Be A Good Role Model

When kids are little, they often mimic what their parents do and say. We, as parents, need to be very careful of how we act or what we say around kids. If we display signs of aggression or give in to the urge to lose our temper, kids often pick up on that and will act out those emotions in school, the playground or even back at us.

We, as human beings, are not always perfect, but if you keep in mind that you are a role model for your kids and then ask yourself, "Is this how I want them to act?" The next time you want to scream or fight in front of them, or raise your voice at them, you will think twice.

To Rule Or Not To Rule?

How strict are you with your child? Your own upbringing, religion and culture will influence your parenting style. But no matter what you decide, never make empty threats that you do not intend to follow through on. It's also critical for both spouses to be supportive of one another so that their child does not get mixed messages.

Be clear about what you expect from your children. If you have a problem with their behaviour, describe it to them in a way they can understand. Let them know how it makes you feel and the natural consequences resulting from their behaviour. If a difficult adjustment needs to be made, offer help by working with them on a solution.

Keep The Communication Open

Talk to your kids. A great place to do that is at the kitchen table. Try to have at least one meal together as a family. Once the communication is open, your kids will tell you about what is going on in their lives. And at the very least, you will be able to pick up on their feelings and views on different topics.

Make this a habit. If you can't have your meals together, find some quiet time to be with your kids and show them that they can talk to you about anything. They'll be more likely to come to you when they are having a problem.

In the process of being a parent, there are many walls we will hit and mistakes we will make. The bottom line is we need to create an environment for our children to lean into, and take with them the strengths and lessons of life they have learned in their formative years. Let us remember that our children did not come from us but through us. And, we've been blessed by their presence.