Wednesday, 20 October 2010

The Psychological Well Being of Single Parents

When it comes to raising children alone, there are a lot of issues to be dealt with. Normally, in two parent families, the parents can give each other a break when dealing with sick children or housework. When you are alone, it is all on your shoulders. The psychological well being of these parents can suffer due to the extra stresses placed on them. Single parent support groups can be found in nearly every major city and town these days. These groups are designed to help combat these problems.

As sole parent of the children, you will find that there are many things you have to deal with alone that other parents can assume they will have help with. From taking sick days to be with children who are ill to working long hours while the kids stay at the daycare just to earn enough to pay the rent and put food on the table, it is a difficult way to live. Add in the fact that dating is far more difficult when you already have children and you have a rather lonely life.   What can you do to ease the burden and ensure your psychological well being? Here are a few tips:

Join a single parent support group.
Meeting up with others who have the same difficulties and who know exactly what it is like to handle things alone is a very good thing. It allows you to discuss things that you wouldn't otherwise be able to talk about. You may make some great friends that you call when things get tough, as well. Support groups are very important if you are trying to go it alone.

Find a good childcare provider.
If you don't fully trust the person looking after your children, you will feel infinitely more guilt. Take the time to find someone who is ok if you are late from time to time and who will be available on weekends and holidays, or can refer you to someone who is. As a single parent, you aren't always able to take time off when needed, so having someone to watch the children during those times is invaluable.

Take time for yourself.
When you are the only person caring for your children, it's tempting to feel like you should be there with them during every spare moment. However, it is important for your psychological well being to get out on your own from time to time. Every parent needs a little "me" time, so make sure you get it, even if that just means leaving the kids with the grandparents while you take a nap.
There are many things to consider when you are in charge of everything and that can be extremely stressful, particularly for those who are used to having someone else to share the load with. Joining a single parent support group can help quite a bit since you will have other people to discuss things with, but you will also need to find strength in yourself.

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Single Parenting And Effects On Children - How Single Parenting Can Impinge On Children

Whether single or not, all parents leave long lasting impressions on their child's life. This is particularly true for single parents. Death, divorce or whatever is the cause of this singularity, it likely leaves deep impressions on the emerging personality of the child. What actually matters is the way the single parent responds to the task of single parenthood. In whichever manner the single parent has dealt with the parenting challenge, there are deep effects on the child's character and individuality as compared to the children of parents living together.

Being a child to a single parent is a complex situation. Children look up and follow their parents. If the parents are confident and stable, their children feel secure and confident. The sense of belonging to a single parent who is either living as an unmarried heterosexual couple or a homosexual couple or without a partner at all has a disturbing effect on the child's personality. Although the laws and norms of societies have changed, unlawful children are made fun of. They are called bastards, illegal and at some places natural born children. As it is a social taboo, it always haunts the child that his mother was never married to his father or at times the fathers refuse to recognize these children as theirs. They are singled out by others at school and playgrounds and made fun of. All these effect the child's personality and self confidence. As a result of which they become reluctant to attend school and socialize. These are part of difficulties that children of lone parents have to go through.

Bringing up children as a single father is a tough task. Being a father you have to go to work as well as look after your young ones which is very taxing. You can really fatigue. As a single father neither you nor your child has the liberty to share your thoughts with the mother. The children particularly feel comfortable to converse with their mother for many of their problems. A number of public schools also don't consider single parents worthy for the task which adds to their worries.

Some of the societies don't accept single parents who exercise this option by choice. In many areas it is considered illegal and morally corrupt. Others consider it a religious taboo particularly the Bible belt. As the society looks down upon them and socially isolates them they feel left out. This makes their life nerve-racking. It is not always easy to migrate from one place to other due to job and financial reasons.

From the above it appears that there is nothing positive in single parenting, how ever on the contrary there is some ray of hope also. Recently some work done at Cornell University about the implications of single parenthood, particularly single mothers on the academic and behavioral progress of children in early teens revealed no harmful effects. This is very encouraging for single mothers. At last it is now obvious that if they are considerate and looking after their young ones with love and affection, the single status would not be a hurdle in bringing up confident, well mannered and contented children.